The "R" Word is No Joke - by Maria Shriver

This is a letter that Maria Shriver wrote the the LA Times regarding the use of the "R" word in the newly released film "Tropic Thunder". Personally, the word retard is incredibly insulting to our family, Chance, and all those affected by intellectual disabilities. The uproar about this film is hopefully raising awareness to the hurtfullness of this term. This letter from Maria Shriver was so good, I thought I'd post it.

The 'R-word' is no joke
For the intellectually disabled and their families, it's just as bad as the "N"-word.
By Maria Shriver August 22, 2008

This has been a year filled with teachable political moments. Racism, sexism, ageism and "change" have been debated at kitchen tables and water coolers across America. But this last week, those gathered around my kitchen table have been consumed with another discussion, one that is not Democratic or Republican -- it's the "R-word" debate.The "R-word" stands for "retard." For the 6 million to 8 million Americans with intellectual disabilities and their families, this word and its hurtful use is equal to the impact of the "N-word" on an African American.
The reason it's kitchen-table fodder is because of the Dreamworks film "Tropic Thunder," which topped the box-office charts when it opened last weekend and which will attract many more moviegoers this weekend. In the R-rated film, which I've seen, a character named Simple Jack is a caricature of a person with a developmental disability. In one of the scenes, the character played by Robert Downey Jr. chastises Ben Stiller's character for "going full retard," and the "R-word" is repeated many times.As a journalist, I respect the right to freedom of speech, and my kids will tell you I laugh the loudest when we see a comedy. But as the niece of someone who had a developmental disability, and as a member of the board of directors of Special Olympics International, I know how hurtful the "R-word" is to someone with a disability. I know why "Tropic Thunder's" opening was met by protests on behalf of the intellectually disabled.Listen to actor Eddie Barbanell, who serves on the Special Olympics board with me, and he will tell you in very emotional terms how the use of that word has made him feel rejected, stupid, demeaned.
Or you can talk to Special Olympics athlete Loretta Claiborne, who speaks on behalf of millions when she describes how the "R-word" has been used to mock and degrade her. She asks all of us to stop using this word without regard to its effect on the hearts and minds of people with disabilities.There is an old saying: "Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me." Even when I chanted it as a child, I never believed it. Words do hurt -- they break people's spirits, they break people's dreams, they break people's hearts.Kids will see "Tropic Thunder," no matter the rating, and when they leave the theater and go out to their schools, their homes and their communities, they'll call each other the "R-word" because they think it's funny. They'll do it without any idea or regard to how it makes a person with a disability feel.Too many in the intellectually disabled movement cannot speak out for themselves. It is up to their families and those of us who advocate on their behalf to explain that calling someone by the "R-word" is no longer acceptable and is anything but funny.It's not acceptable in a movie theater; it's not acceptable on a playground. It's not acceptable that college coaches use it to chastise athletes. It's not OK to use it in a classroom or a boardroom."Tropic Thunder" is giving Claiborne, Barbanell and many other individuals and organizations that serve those with special needs -- the Special Olympics, the National Down Syndrome Society, the Arc, the American Assn. of People with Disabilities, Parent to Parent-USA -- a teachable moment. They are ready to join with the entertainment industry to change minds. Dreamworks' decision to include a public service announcement with DVDs of "Tropic Thunder" is an important first step, but far more needs to be done.Just as important, parents must talk to kids at our kitchen tables about how we have felt when someone called us stupid, idiotic or lame. Because once we put ourselves in someone else's shoes, certain names just aren't that funny any more.I often quote the Hopi prayer that tells us not to look outside ourselves for a leader. It tells us that we are the ones we have been waiting for. We can exchange one "R-word" for another: respect. We can teach our children that name-calling hurts.Let's makes the "R-word" as unacceptable as the "N-word." Think of all we can accomplish if we work together.It's one thing in this political season that shouldn't require a water-cooler debate.Maria Shriver is the first lady of California.

Idlewild Summer 2008

I'd like to think that I could make a trip to Idlewild Park in Ligonier, PA annually with the boys, but man it's hard to coordinate. We did manage to pull it off this year. Cheri came up from Charlotte, Angie came from Reading, we came from Martinsburg, Aunt Dar, Aunt Mar and Uncle Ronnie came from Pittsburgh, and mom came from Columbia. We all met up at the park and had a GREAT time. We started with a picnic lunch and then headed over to the kiddie rides. The little ones had a blast. The bigger boys headed to the bigger rides and met up with us later at Soak Zone. All in all, we spent nearly 8 hours at the park and by the time we left, the kids were spent! Super great time and so great to be with family.

Good Bye Charlie

Sadly, my father-in-law passed away last night around 8pm. He was surrounded by his family and after a long two week decline, finally left us. We miss him. I wanted to say thank you to so many who have supported us, watched our children, prayed for us, brought food, etc. The support of our friends and family has been very comforting.

VA Area Angelman Picnic

What a BEAUTIFUL day we had, and I'm not referring to the weather! Seriously, it was such a delight to be around other AS families and just share a great day. The park was perfect, right down to the adaptive swing in the playground. The weather was gorgeous. The pool water was just right and I think I speak for us all when I say we had a very nice time. Thank you to all who made the trip up. I think we'll try to have this picnic annually and hopefully get a good local chapter going and have other events as well. Here are some pictures of our day.

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